Today, I am “not adulting.” I am closing the door to everything that has led to being exhausted. Since I have been “doing” for so long, I’ve lost me. “Not Adulting” means: I will not wake up at 3:00 am to see if my child is sleeping or check the medical monitor that will continue […]
Tag: hope
Calming Truth When Life Is SO Complicated
His hands were gently folded on his lap as he listened to the sermon. Every morning, my son and his caregiver listen to various sermons on his phone; she patiently helps him find the Bible passage written in large letters. As they listened, I watched his fingers, now long and thin and never still. Jon’s […]
Today I’m Giving Up My “Wish-List”
I looked into my son’s eyes wondering what he was thinking. Most people see him as a young man who is “odd” or “different” even though he appears to be a typical young man. I know him as my 23-year-old son with blue eyes and pale skin, whose life has included a treadmill of specialists […]
How Can I Be Thankful for That?
I’ll never forget Thanksgiving Day 2019. I usually treasure family traditions—those few hours or days each year when the noisy clatter of life comes to a halt. Gathering, reflecting, and being present with those I love warms my soul. However, everything about fall, feasting, and festive gatherings was the last thing on my mind. Two […]
Clawing for Control when God Says, “Cling to the Truth”
Nine months into the year 2020, the word “unprecedented” has become a household hashtag. Everything from COVID19, the west coast fires, hurricanes in the gulf and southern states . . . these and other events have been labeled “unprecedented” according to the media and news streams. “Unprecedented” means an event, experience, or unparalleled, extraordinary happening […]
Because of My Struggles, Not in Spite of My Struggles…
Looking out the hospital window I wondered if anyone in the world had ever felt so lonely. The doctor had just told me my son may not make it through the night. Burying a child isn’t a topic in books pregnant mom’s read; it was the first time I had to face the fact there […]
How to Gut It Out When the Going Gets Tough
Some days, I am truly thankful my thoughts are NOT put on display for all to read! This was one of those days. To begin, I have to admit medical maintenance isn’t one of my best qualities. Um, as in something has to fall apart . . . or off, for that matter, and then […]
Peace Offered When We Call Out
There are days when I fight feeling hopeless. Not an all-consuming hopelessness: pull the shades, draw the covers, the sky is falling hopeless. I have had seasons like that; most often connected to a death…death of a friend, expectation, or dream. There’s finality in that kind of death and it’s awful. I’m finding there is […]
Finding Hope in the Unknowns of Faith
Colleen wrote the following journal entry about her thoughts, anxiety, and faith prior to a serious spine surgery she had in December, from which she is still recovering. A Journal Entry There’s something about the unknown that can be uncomfortable. I want to know the outcome of my upcoming surgery. But in addition […]
How to Have the Greatest Christmas of Your Life (Even from a Hospital Bed)
There was no getting around it; I had to walk through the very thing I had avoided for years. As I left the medical building, the sights and sounds of the holiday season were everywhere. The air was crisp, and the roads were packed with drivers who apparently believed they owned the road but forgot […]
What to Do When Life Takes You from DIY to Totally Desperate
“How to . . .” “How to . . .” “How to . . .” Sometimes the Internet leaves me wanting. You too? Having perused what seemed like every website and social media page on the Internet, I couldn’t find what I was looking for. I did find everything from life hacks to little houses, […]
A Caregiver’s “Note to Self”
We were sequestered for thirty-six hours. My husband and I were the only two people in the room. They sent food to our room which was the only interaction we had with another human being. This went on for T H I R T Y – S I X hours! I am happy to tell […]