I’ve got great news! Last week I shared an article written by my Reframing Ministries project manager, Tiffany. I admire Tiffany’s character in abundance; her faith in Jesus is alive and authentic. As a Christ-follower, Tiffany has been called to be a “gestational carrier,” commonly known as a surrogate mother. Tiffany has birthed five babies: she’s given life (not all in one pregnancy) to families who were unable to get pregnant or carry children to term due to medical reasons. Today’s guest post was written by one of the moms whose twins were carried by Tiffany. I hope her words speak life into your soul!
—Colleen
My husband and I sat down on the couch with our 7-year-old son, Aidan. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears. This was it. This was the moment that we had been praying for . . . for six long years.
“Aidan, we’ve got exciting news.”
His big blue eyes lit up.
I asked, “What have you been praying for—for a long time?”
He furrowed his full eyebrows and gave it some thought.
“A brother or a sister?”
“Well, we have some exciting news. God has answered your prayers! You are going to be a big brother.”
Aidan was so excited, he gasped. Tears rolled down my cheeks.
And just when I thought I couldn’t get any more emotional, our little boy got up and hugged me and my husband. I held him in my arms and kissed his cheeks.
I handed him a present and watched him open it up.
“And we have more news!”
“What is it?”
“We’re having twins! You’re getting a brother and a sister.”
Aidan gasped again, “I’m going to be a big brother.” He beamed, stood up, and did a little dance.
“Yes!”
It just about killed me when he ran over to me, bent forward and kissed my belly. I knew then that I couldn’t tell him in stages. I couldn’t lie to him. I had to explain it all to him now—the whole shebang.
We sat him back down and waited for a few minutes for the news to soak in.
Then we braced ourselves for the rest of the conversation.
“This might be confusing for you, but the babies are not in my belly. You see, Mommy’s tummy is broken. Mommy has been to lots of doctors, and we felt like it was best for someone else to carry our babies.”
It felt so cathartic to finally say the words and tell Aidan the truth. All these years, we had done everything we could to protect him from feelings of sadness or loss. It broke my heart to see tears streaming down his face.
“What does that mean?”
“I can’t carry babies. My tummy is broken. So the doctor took cells from Mommy and from Daddy and created embryos. They were put into someone else’s tummy. We are borrowing a pouch, like a kangaroo.”
Aidan’s face was so sad.
“That’s weird.”
I was in absolute anguish watching him. Dirk tried to encourage him.
“It’s awesome, son!” Dirk said.
“It is weird, Aidan, because it’s not what we’re used to. I know this is a lot to take in. Do you remember meeting our friend, Tiffany? Well, we are borrowing her pouch. She is pregnant for us,” I told him.
Aidan started to cry in a high-pitched way. Dirk grabbed him and put his arms around him.
“It’s okay, buddy. Come here!”
The cadence of Aidan’s voice broke down into a painful, halting pattern.
“I . . . don’t . . . understand. How did they transport your babies in her?”
I did my best to sound cheerful. “Through an operation. Tiffany is an angel to us. We’re very lucky to have her.”
I grabbed him and wrapped him up in my arms. “Once the babies are born, they’re ours forever. Aidan, your prayers worked! You asked for a brother and a sister and God answered your prayers! You are going to be a big brother!”
Aidan sniffled for a few minutes. We hugged and kissed him. He looked down at the picture of the ultrasounds and smiled. Then like a typical 7-year-old boy, he got over it and asked if he could run outside to play.
Bold Prayer, Persistent Faith, and Unexpected Answers
I remembered all the nighttime prayers where Aidan had asked for siblings. The first time he asked, my instinct was to tell him not to ask for something so big, bold, and specific. He was asking for a brother and a sister—which seemed like a tall order. As much as I wanted to stop his prayer requests, I didn’t. I wanted to protect him from getting his little heart broken.
Aidan didn’t stop with the prayer requests. As each year went by that he didn’t have a sibling, he became even more emboldened. He would stand on top of his bed at night and yell:
“God! Can you hear me? I want a brother and a sister!”
Even though it made me nervous, I decided we had to submit to the Lord. He knew our hearts’ desires. I remember walking out of Aidan’s room one night, and I said to God, “Okay, I turn this over to You. I trust You and surrender to You.”
It was there that I learned an unexpected lesson from my sweet son. God wants us to be bold with our prayers. He wants to give us our hearts’ desires. It may not be in our time, but we have to trust God. Now, this requires patience, which is a vital part of trusting in Him. As it says in Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (NIV). The fact that Aidan was persistent and hopeful in his prayers and that God answered his prayers by giving him both a brother and a sister—just as he had asked for—is such a testament to God’s faithfulness.
It can be hard to practice patience when God has you waiting. As humans, we want to schedule and plan. In those times, ask the Holy Spirit to direct you as you wait on the Lord!
About Stephanie O’Hara
Stephanie is the founder of Your Angel Wings. She is a wife, mother of three, infertility overcomer, former lead singer of a rock band, entrepreneur, and advocate for women. After having her son, she experienced a six-year infertility journey and seven miscarriages before realizing she and her husband needed the assistance of a surrogate/gestational carrier. Her miracle girl/boy twins were born almost four years ago, thanks to their surrogate angel, Tiffany. Stephanie has just finished her (untitled) infertility memoir, slated to be released soon. Find out more on Stephanie’s Instagram, Facebook, and podcast on Anchor (Steph O’Hara). (Picture above is of the O’Hara family.)
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